Tag Archive for acceptance

Quit Being a B-hole and Don’t Let the B-holes Win

Why are we hurting others?

When we are born, we have love in our hearts. We don’t care about and play with black, white, disability, etc. We have joy in our hearts and live our life to the fullest. The thought of hurting others isn’t even in our thoughts.

Why are most people different now when they got older? What is the point of even trying to physically or emotionally hurt someone else?

I hate to say but these b-holes out there hurting women, men and even animals, are the worst human beings on the earth! Are you so messed up that you have to hurt others to feel better? What you are doing is ruining other’s lives. No wonder they have no self-confidence, sad most of the time and some even so depressed that they don’t want to live anymore.

You who, hurt others, should be taking that energy and rather than hurting others, put it into improving and bettering your own life!

Now those being hurt or might get hurt, what should you do?

First of all if you are being physically or emotionally hurt, you should get those hurting you to stop that crap. Now if they continue, you need to contact the police and have them do something. You should then leave and not come back, even if they say they changed! You don’t need that crap in your life. You may have some stuff still left at their place if you were staying there, but don’t try to get it because you don’t need any of the hassle in your life. You can improve yourself, your life and buy brand new stuff.

Second, don’t let their messed up crap ruin you’re your life! You are worth so much more. You have the power inside to build yourself up to something way better and live an awesome life.

Three, let’s say you are in a relationship with that hurtful person. Leave them and know that there is someone way better out there for you, even if you don’t feel like there is.

I will close by saying to those hurting others, to stop that crap and build a better life for yourself. Those being hurt, roll your wheels over that hurtful life and build yourself a ten times better one. We need to all wake up and start making this a better world and throw out the garbage!

From the Trenches to the Big Stage

This world has many amazing motivational speakers, like Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Steven Hawkins and hitting the big stage is the next amazing speaker Thomas Moon.

Thomas is a self-advocate and author/motivational speaker (Check out the book and motivational cd at http://blog.squeakywheelchair.com/?page_id=516) Thomas Moon is available to speak at your next conference, event, business event, nonprofit, church, etc.

A little about Thomas

“I am an upbeat guy and a very likable person.

I am a product of the foster care system.  I was adopted at the age of 11. Before that, I grew up in foster care in Pennsylvania and Florida. I have cerebral palsy, which weakens muscle coordination. I use a wheelchair most of the time, but can walk with supports.

Growing up in foster care is difficult.  Being disabled, being different and growing up in foster care is very difficult.

However, I am a survivor.” Thomas Moon

View Thomas’s marketing poster below (Available posters to hang in your business, community, etc.)

A list of Thomas Moon’s awards and accomplishments

AWARDS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS

  • Voted Best Leader Under 55 By Ocala Magazine
  • Graduate of Partners in Policy Making 2010
  • 2011 recipient of the Idelio Valdes Leadership and Advocacy Award
  • President Ocala Business Leaders 2012
  • 2013 Appointed to the Florida Development Disability Council by Governor Scott
  • Founding Member of the Marion County Disability Alliance
  • Business Owner/Entrepreneur

And more

Again Thomas Moon is available to speak at your next conference, event, business event, nonprofit, church, etc. Please contact tj@moonscapes.org, www.disabilityspeaker.org or by phone at 352-502-5994, if you have any questions or to schedule Thomas to speak.

Remember to check out the marketing poster below and to not be afraid to squeak your wheels to get things done.

 

TJ_Info_Poster_2b

The Life and Times of a Person with a Disability

There was once this lady who was just like you and I. The only thing different was her bones and muscles did not work the same. Does this mean that she should be treated different? The world would say yes. What would you say about this?

She is trying to get through life with her disability. She is just an amazing person. She will do anything she can. She will try everything and if she fails she will try something else. Put anything in her way and she will most of the time accomplish it.

One day she was walking down the street when someone walked up to her. He started saying mean things about her. He said that she was so crippled that she could not even get out of bed. This hurt her feelings so much she went to her room and started crying.

She got down on her knees and asked God to help her not be bothered by the crap she is given.  She then went to the Paddock mall. She was walking around and this woman when a big head and a ring in her nose walked up to her. This woman started to tell the lady with the disability that she looked stupid and she should not be in public. The nasty lady got a big surprise when the lady with the disability walked away and said nothing. This lady that took a good jump and said that she was not going to be bothered by what she heard had a great time in her life that said her life would be changed forever.

Now everywhere she goes and when people try to bring her down she just walked away.

This story is fiction but the moral of it is that because people are different, they are not worth it and treated like no one. (race, color, age and gender) Another point is that no matter family, best friend, etc, if they need to stab you in the back to get what they want, most people won’t think twice.

I believe that the end of this world won’t be a ball of fire or even an apocalypse but by the hands around each other’s throats. The only way this will change is that we wake up and start living life like, treating others equal, caring about each other and put a lot of our anger in a hole.

We can have a better life but we have to squeak our wheels no matter how annoying it may be!

Get Involved in Your Child’s Life!

How involved are you in your child with a disability’s life or any of your children?

I am not a parent so I am not coming from a parent’s perspective but I am coming from my own experience. I am an adult with a disability but I used to be a child of course. I went into foster care when I was about three years old and in foster care, no one gave me the time of day.

I was told I was stupid and would go nowhere in life. I was usually told to just go sit in the corner and watch T.V.

Having no support, I basically had no life. My life changed at age 11 because two wonderful people came and adopted me. The Moon family treated me like any other child and knew I wasn’t stupid.

My new parents got involved in my life and wanted me to go places, me too. We fought the school to get me a regular education and when getting nowhere, I was took out and home schooled.

We fought VR to help pay for some of my college, worked to find a way I can move out on my own/be independent and much more.

The moral of it all is that because I had/have parents involved in my life, it helped get me to where I am.

I say help because you can’t live your child’s life, only they can! Talk with your child, find programs and activities that will improve their life, take them to important things and actually get involved. Having parents involved in the child’s life will do much for amazing things and not just for the child but you too and even others.

I found this story online that shows how having parents involved in a child’s life (school, skills, work, etc.) will do wonders. Check it out at http://www.eduguide.org/article/special-needs-children-the-power-of-
parent-involvement

Your child is so important to you and I know you want the best for them, so get involved. You are going to have battles but you can’t give up, sometimes we have to squeak our wheels so many times before something happens but don’t you dare quit!

Recap of TimeGate 2014

One day I am traveling through time and space with my big blue box, when I suddenly arrived at this hotel in Georgia where there was a convention going on called TimeGate.

Arriving at the hotel early, my dad and I checked in and brought everything to the room. Coming downstairs to register for TimeGate, it wasn’t time so we sat in the convention area and talked to a few Whovians, Stargate fans and more.

My stomach was shouting at me so we contacted my sister about dinner and we met them at a great pizza place after we registered for convention.

Arriving back at the convention, it was time for different sessions to start. I went to a couple and then hung out by the TARDIS, talking to others and taking pictures. The time was getting around 9 p.m. and I surprisingly decided to go up to the room to get sleep for the upcoming and exciting next day of fun.

“Just a few more minutes’ mummy.” I woke up ready to take on the day, battling Daleks, Cybermen and more. Ate a couple cheese sandwiches for breakfast and then headed down stairs to see all the costumes and go to a few more sessions.

I had this strange lady named Jamie texting me all morning saying her and her family will be there at 11 and did we all want to do lunch, so I decided to go along with it. Just so you know Jamie and her family are great friends of ours that we met at lasts years TimeGate.

I hung out in the convention area talking to people and along come a crowd of Whovians with Jamie as the culprit. We all exchanged hugs and handshakes. We decided to; do lunch at the hotel where they had hamburgers and hotdogs. We all chatted at lunch to catch up on what is going on with each other.

After lunch, we left my dad to be upgraded by the Cybermen and looked around the dealers room as well as take pictures. I got a badge thing from the dealer room that said, “Legal permit to park TARDIS.”

I joked that it was going to be my new disabled parking sticker.

Jamie and her family had to leave so we said goodbye.

I continued to hang out until it was time for my dad and me to do dinner. After dinner I went to hang out some more until it was time for the Ken Spivey Band to perform. I rocked out and after I had to wait in line for the cabaret. The Cabaret is where the special guests performed different acts.

Right after the cabaret was the masquerade costume contest which was great. My dad went up to sleep and said to come up when I wanted.

I went up’ stairs put my leather jack up stairs so I could go to the dance and boogie down.

I went back down stairs and got a soda while I waited for the dance to start. The dance started so I slid in smoothly like I was Usher or someone.

The jams were bouncing so I took off the legs for my wheelchair and got out on the dance floor and busted a move!

Sleep time was about 1 a.m.

The next day we packed up, then went to breakfast with my sister, her husband and my awesome niece. After breakfast we drove all the way home.

We survived the Daleks and had a blast.

One thing I liked about this year is there were reserved seating for people with disabilities and that I saw many more people in wheelchairs than ever before. Normally I am the only one in a wheelchair.

When are you going to start living and push your barriers aside? “I would be nowhere, if I did not decide to bust down those barriers!” Thomas Moon

You can get the unimaginable but you have to choose to dig out of the mound holding you back and never go back.

Check out my photos and never stop squeaking your wheels.

Life in the Box or Out of it

There is this thing called a box that we put ourselves in.

Most people go from day to day with some kind of struggle or obstacle, like financial problems, work problems, relationship problems and more. People just don’t see the obstacle and move on.  They see it and sit back like that is how things have to be.

This box we put ourselves in can ruin our lives! The box may be comfortable.  It makes you not have to be afraid.  However, what kind of life are you living.

The world outside of the box can be so amazing that you just want to slap yourself. Outside of the box is that nice car you always wanted, great house, a good relationship, money, health and so much more.  Outside the box there are extraordinary things. All the box has is walls, disappointment, sadness and no change.

What kind of life do you want to live?  The old rusty one in the box or the extraordinary and rewarding life outside of the box? Comment with your answer below but I hope you choose the life outside of the box.

I personally choose to live outside of the box. I have had many obstacles put in my way.  like being put in foster care, people telling me I can’t do, people laughing meanly at me, people saying I am too stupid to learn and will go nowhere in life.  I did not listen and put myself in that box. I graduated with a Regular high school diploma, got a bachelor’s degree from RasmussenCollege, own my own business, live on my own and I am not stopping there.

I can’t drive right now but I hop in my wheelchair and take the bus places at least twice a week. Many of my friends see me riding down the sidewalk in my wheelchair and they honk the horn. They don’t know what I am doing or where I am going but they see that I am living my life outside of the box and not letting the naysayers win!

Stand your comfortable/lazy butt up and step out of that nasty box into the beautiful field of possibilities! Squeak, squeak, squeak.

More Than Just Business

Many people know that Thomas Moon, me,  is a motivational speaker, author, blogger and advocate but did you know what I do to make this world a better places?

I am involved in many different charities and causes including American Cancer Society, involving disabilities and children, adoption, foster care and more.

I am often asked Why, I do so much in the community.  What drives me to volunteer?

One answer is that I see the need.  It is right in front of me and it is hard for me to ignore it.  There is so much to do out there.

Secondly, I grew up being told I could not do.  When I was in foster care everyone told me I could not do.  Teachers told me I was mentally retarded and that I was too stupid to learn.

Foster parents told me I could not do what the other kids in the foster home did.  I was usually stuck in the corner to watch TV.  I was like a bump on a log – literally – stuck in the corner and left alone.

So when I left the foster care system, when I joined a family – opportunities opened up for me.  I was allowed to do – I was encouraged to.  My parents did not put limits or boundaries on me.  So I started doing.

Now I guess I do so much because I was told so often that I could not do.  I was told I would not learn anything – that I could not learn anything.  Now I have a Bachelor’s Degree from Rasmussen College – not a made up degree, not a degree because someone felt sorry for the kid in the wheelchair – but a real Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management – something I earned and had to work my butt off and study for.

I volunteer because I can – because instead of being the kid stuck in the corner – now I am the adult who can help and make a difference.  That is so very important to me. To make a difference.  To help those who need help.  To be the voice for so many who can’t speak out for themselves or are not heard.”

One of my events coming up is the Third Annual Strike Against Cancer. Come and support the Strike Against Cancer event on April 5th at AMF Galaxy East in Ocala! Call TJ Moon at 352-502-5994 for more information.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4KrR5bL2nk

Remember that no matter how many obstacles you come across, people try to tell you what you can/can’t do, you fall on your face, etc, keep squeaking your wheels and moving forward because no one can make your life extraordinary except you!

I Acquired a Brain Injury

Now I need to make it clean that acquiring a brain injury is not like acquiring a new car or a boat or television.  You do not go down to the Brain Injury Store and ask for a new brain injury.  It just does not work that way.

March is Brain Injury Awareness month.  To help raise awareness I thought I would share about acquiring a brain injury.

There are two types of brain injury – Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI and Acquired Brain Injury or ABI.  A couple of years ago I acquired a brain injury.

Traumatic Brain Injury occurs when something outside the brain causes the injury.  Being hit on the head with a hammer, falling debris from an air plane hits you on the head, falling down and hitting your head, car accident where you smash against the side window or windshield.  These are all forms of TBI.  As long as the injury is from something external the injury is classified as TBI.

Please do not think that I am making light of brain injuries.  I suffered a brain injury.  Mine was the acquired kind.  I just think that the term Acquired Brain Injury or ABI is an odd way to phrase a life changing event.

ABI’s occur when the injury to the brain is not from an external source.  Even to a lay person like myself that makes sense; TBI external, ABI not external.

If the brain injury is the result of a lack of oxygen to the brain it is ABI.  If you sniff too much glue you can cause ABI.  Drowning can cause ABI.  A disease such as meningitis can cause ABI.  And a stroke can cause ABI.

All of these are considered non-traumatic events.  Although as a stroke survivor, I will tell you the stroke was a traumatic event.  However, non-traumatic brain injuries are classified as ABI.

Brain injuries whether TBI or ABI can often be invisible to those observing the person suffering.  However, brain injuries are real and they can result in long term or even life long debilitating effects.

Just for the record, if I had a choice I would not have chosen to acquire a brain injury.  Acquiring a new car would have been a lot more fun.  As it was, I had no choice in the matter.

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month, be aware that those of us who have suffered a brain injury struggle to different degrees with many aspects of life that other take for granted.  Although our disability is invisible, it is still real.

I know that Thomas always ends his blogs with keep squeaking you wheels.  However, I have no wheels to squeak.  I will remind you that part of my brain died.  So what is your excuse?

Invisible Disabilities

Note:  I am Thomas’s dad.  I have been a disability advocate for obvious reasons and in April of 2012 I became a self-advocate.  For those who do not recognize the term, that means I became a person with a disability.

I am a person with a disability.  I do not wear a sign or have a label on my forehead saying “Disabled”.  Although I do have a couple of t-shirts that say “Part of My Brain Died What Is Your Excuse.”

My disability is not readily visible.  In April of 2012 I suffered a major stoke.  I am a stroke survivor.  For a time I was physically disabled.  However, with hard work and therapy I was able to regain the majority of my physical abilities.

One side of my body is weaker than the other.  This in spite of exercising.  I have pain in some of my joints.  I walk with a bit of a lilt at times, especially if I am tired.  One of my favorite side effects is that, if I bend over to tie my shoes there is a good chance I will fall over.

 All of these are minor inconveniences.  If this were the sum total of the lasting effects of my stroke, I doubt that I would be classified as disabled.

Understand that part of my brain died.  A large part?  I can not say if it is a large part or not. However, consider that loosing any part of the computer that runs your body is not good.  A scan of my brain shows a number of areas of white spots, some large and some small.  These white spots represent brain cells that are dead.

That is why I had the t-shirts made up, “Part of My Brain Died What Is Your Excuse.”  Realize, I do not use dead brain cells as an excuse for my behaviors, opinions or actions.  But they are dead nonetheless.

Recovering brain function was much more difficult than recovering physical function.  It is possible to exercise the brain, but it is not nearly as easy as exercising the body.  And the results are not as significant, or at least not as significant in my case.

Every brain injury is unique.  My experiences are not the same of another stoke survivor, even a stroke survivor of similar age.

As I sit here and write this, one of my brain issues becomes very apparent.  I have been a writer most of my life.  I made my living putting words on paper for many years.  My writing includes corporate work, magazine articles and at one time I had a weekly column in one of our local newspapers.

Writing came naturally, or I should say, writing use to come naturally.  Now I struggle to put words on paper.  They no longer flow from my fingers without effort.  The muse in my head no longer directs me or tells me what to say.

Each paragraph, sentence and word is work.  That is such a new experience for me.  Writing should not be work; it is supposed to be fun.

However, I still write.  I still have the urge to put words on paper.  I still have stories that need to be told and ideas that need to be shared.

My struggle with writing is just one of many brain issues.  My memory, especially short term, is terrible.  Yes, even more terrible than most males.  I have trouble focusing on tasks.  Numbers no longer look and act like poetry for me, math is now math.

There are other issues as well.  Some are private and are I choose not to share them publicly, not even on this blog.

Taken individually, my struggles or problems may not seem significant.  Maybe even taken as a whole they do not seem significant.  However, they have significantly impacted my life.

I have been told by acquaintances, I know now that were not friends, “Howard, I know you had a stroke.  But you are not really disabled.  Not like someone with Autism, or Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.”

Yes I know I am not disabled like someone with Autism, or Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.  On the other hand they are not disabled like I am.

My disability is invisible.  You can not see it and you have no idea what is going on inside my head.  Until you do, until you can understand what it is like to be me, then do not judge and do not  criticize, and more importantly keep your comments to yourself.

They Look Normal

Have you ever notice how we naturally tend to judge people without even being aware of it.  Maybe a guy walks by and we look at him and think “man why doesn’t he do something with his hair”?  Or maybe a woman walks by and we think “doesn’t she realize those pants look awful on her”?  I know petty as it may seem we all have done it or do this on a regular basis.  What about those times that we are in the store and we see a child that has an awful tantrum?  What is your first thought? “Those parents need to learn to get their child under control” or “If that were my kid I’d take them home and give them a good spanking or time out”.  Does this resonate with you?  Have you actually gone up to the parent and made a negative comment about their parenting skills?

We’ve all heard the saying “you should never judge a book by its cover”.  In life this applies  to people and situations more then you may realize.  Let’s go back to that child in the store and take a closer look at what might really be going on.  We have a mother that is taking her child to the store.  But what you don’t see or know is that this is a child with a disability.  Well how can that be you say because “they look normal”.  Ah here is the kicker….they look like any other child on the “outside”, but on the inside they are “wired” totally differently.  This trip to the store has over stimulated the child and all the noise, lights, crowds and waiting has caused this particular child to go into “sensory overload” and they are actually in physical pain over it.  All the child can do is meltdown to deal with it.  So the parent is doing everything they can to try to calm the child and get them out of the store.  I have experienced this first-hand as I have one of these children that “looks normal” but is wired differently.  And yes I have experienced the comments and looks from those “judging the situation” and my “parenting skills”.  I also work with children that “look normal” but actually have different disabilities even from my own child.  There are a lot of these individuals out there in our communities.

I hope that this blog post affects us all by nothing more than making us take a moment to stop and think when we witness something out in the community with a child, teenager or adult that may seem “odd” even though they may “look normal”.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe their brains are just wired differently.  This doesn’t make them any “less” than anyone else…just different.

Guest blog by Deanna Rouse an advocate and parent of a child with one of the invisible disabilities.