Tag Archive for brain injury

Slow Brain Day

I call them slow brain days.  You may have them.  Getting up is a little harder than normal.  Starting the day seems like work.  Everything you do just seems to take more time and effort.  Sometimes more time and effort than seems worthwhile.

If my teenagers had tried that years ago I would have told them they were being lazy or they were trying to get over on something.  And they probably would have been.

Now years later, having survived a stroke and having part of my brain die – it is something has happens now and then.  My brain just needs a break so it takes one.

I have learned to listen to my body.  If I am tired at 7 or 8 pm I go to sleep.  If my leg is doing the twitchy thing (that is my legs way of telling me enough) then I sit and let it rest.  So it would follow that if my brain wants to go slowly, then I should take it easy and let my brain have its way.

One of the advantages of being retired and disabled is that I have the luxury of allowing my body to dictate my schedule.  Why push my brain when it needs rest?  I have no pressing engagements.

There have been days that are not slow brain days.  However on occasion my brain will get overworked.  It is not exactly a headache and my brain does not really hurt, but it lets me know it wants a time out.

Anyone who has suffered a brain injury will probably know what I mean.  Those times when your brain just does not want to think, or rather not think to hard.

It is not something that we can control.  We may have coping mechanisms.  We may have ways to disguise those times.  However, the bottom line is that the brain usually wins and we have to give it a rest.  Literally.

This is just one of the many invisible disabilities that accompany brain injuries, both TBI and ABI.  Brain injury survivors have two choices, fight it or accept it.  I have found that fighting what my body and brain are telling me is futile.

I do stretch my limits.  I do challenge both my body and my brain.  However, when push comes to shove, I am overruled.

It is not the end of the world.  Slow brain day, then I just take it easy.  After all I have an excuse for lolling about, part of my brain died.

Previously posted on my blog Part of My Brain Died What is Your Excuse.

I Acquired a Brain Injury

Now I need to make it clean that acquiring a brain injury is not like acquiring a new car or a boat or television.  You do not go down to the Brain Injury Store and ask for a new brain injury.  It just does not work that way.

March is Brain Injury Awareness month.  To help raise awareness I thought I would share about acquiring a brain injury.

There are two types of brain injury – Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI and Acquired Brain Injury or ABI.  A couple of years ago I acquired a brain injury.

Traumatic Brain Injury occurs when something outside the brain causes the injury.  Being hit on the head with a hammer, falling debris from an air plane hits you on the head, falling down and hitting your head, car accident where you smash against the side window or windshield.  These are all forms of TBI.  As long as the injury is from something external the injury is classified as TBI.

Please do not think that I am making light of brain injuries.  I suffered a brain injury.  Mine was the acquired kind.  I just think that the term Acquired Brain Injury or ABI is an odd way to phrase a life changing event.

ABI’s occur when the injury to the brain is not from an external source.  Even to a lay person like myself that makes sense; TBI external, ABI not external.

If the brain injury is the result of a lack of oxygen to the brain it is ABI.  If you sniff too much glue you can cause ABI.  Drowning can cause ABI.  A disease such as meningitis can cause ABI.  And a stroke can cause ABI.

All of these are considered non-traumatic events.  Although as a stroke survivor, I will tell you the stroke was a traumatic event.  However, non-traumatic brain injuries are classified as ABI.

Brain injuries whether TBI or ABI can often be invisible to those observing the person suffering.  However, brain injuries are real and they can result in long term or even life long debilitating effects.

Just for the record, if I had a choice I would not have chosen to acquire a brain injury.  Acquiring a new car would have been a lot more fun.  As it was, I had no choice in the matter.

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month, be aware that those of us who have suffered a brain injury struggle to different degrees with many aspects of life that other take for granted.  Although our disability is invisible, it is still real.

I know that Thomas always ends his blogs with keep squeaking you wheels.  However, I have no wheels to squeak.  I will remind you that part of my brain died.  So what is your excuse?

Invisible Disabilities

Note:  I am Thomas’s dad.  I have been a disability advocate for obvious reasons and in April of 2012 I became a self-advocate.  For those who do not recognize the term, that means I became a person with a disability.

I am a person with a disability.  I do not wear a sign or have a label on my forehead saying “Disabled”.  Although I do have a couple of t-shirts that say “Part of My Brain Died What Is Your Excuse.”

My disability is not readily visible.  In April of 2012 I suffered a major stoke.  I am a stroke survivor.  For a time I was physically disabled.  However, with hard work and therapy I was able to regain the majority of my physical abilities.

One side of my body is weaker than the other.  This in spite of exercising.  I have pain in some of my joints.  I walk with a bit of a lilt at times, especially if I am tired.  One of my favorite side effects is that, if I bend over to tie my shoes there is a good chance I will fall over.

 All of these are minor inconveniences.  If this were the sum total of the lasting effects of my stroke, I doubt that I would be classified as disabled.

Understand that part of my brain died.  A large part?  I can not say if it is a large part or not. However, consider that loosing any part of the computer that runs your body is not good.  A scan of my brain shows a number of areas of white spots, some large and some small.  These white spots represent brain cells that are dead.

That is why I had the t-shirts made up, “Part of My Brain Died What Is Your Excuse.”  Realize, I do not use dead brain cells as an excuse for my behaviors, opinions or actions.  But they are dead nonetheless.

Recovering brain function was much more difficult than recovering physical function.  It is possible to exercise the brain, but it is not nearly as easy as exercising the body.  And the results are not as significant, or at least not as significant in my case.

Every brain injury is unique.  My experiences are not the same of another stoke survivor, even a stroke survivor of similar age.

As I sit here and write this, one of my brain issues becomes very apparent.  I have been a writer most of my life.  I made my living putting words on paper for many years.  My writing includes corporate work, magazine articles and at one time I had a weekly column in one of our local newspapers.

Writing came naturally, or I should say, writing use to come naturally.  Now I struggle to put words on paper.  They no longer flow from my fingers without effort.  The muse in my head no longer directs me or tells me what to say.

Each paragraph, sentence and word is work.  That is such a new experience for me.  Writing should not be work; it is supposed to be fun.

However, I still write.  I still have the urge to put words on paper.  I still have stories that need to be told and ideas that need to be shared.

My struggle with writing is just one of many brain issues.  My memory, especially short term, is terrible.  Yes, even more terrible than most males.  I have trouble focusing on tasks.  Numbers no longer look and act like poetry for me, math is now math.

There are other issues as well.  Some are private and are I choose not to share them publicly, not even on this blog.

Taken individually, my struggles or problems may not seem significant.  Maybe even taken as a whole they do not seem significant.  However, they have significantly impacted my life.

I have been told by acquaintances, I know now that were not friends, “Howard, I know you had a stroke.  But you are not really disabled.  Not like someone with Autism, or Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.”

Yes I know I am not disabled like someone with Autism, or Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.  On the other hand they are not disabled like I am.

My disability is invisible.  You can not see it and you have no idea what is going on inside my head.  Until you do, until you can understand what it is like to be me, then do not judge and do not  criticize, and more importantly keep your comments to yourself.